Trying to Be A Girly Girl is Not Working Out For Me

by Teddy Sephina

One day, I thought maybe I should try to be a little more feminine. Even though I’m not exactly overly boyish, I’m not exactly magazine cover material either. In other words, not girly enough to be standing in front of a motorcycle with a Hell’s Angel straddling the bike, but not too tomboy either to be the Hell’s Angel straddling the machine.

I thought maybe I should try this eyebrow thing all the girls do these days, since apparently gone are the days when Brooke Shields’s eyebrows were sexy. I have Brooke Shields’s eyebrows. Not sexy at all. So I got a little mirror and some tweezers and I tried to do the old-fashioned plucking, since I remembered all the times Grandma would stand under the bright kitchen light, and pluck her chin hairs and eyebrows out. I used to think this a very odd morning ritual until I noticed my mom do it too, years later.

Now, in my mid-thirties, I’m having to do it. Cripes.

So, I laid out on the couch, angled myself in a way that the large lamp would shed enough light onto my face, and began the art of plucking. Unfortunately, not being educated enough in the trials and tribulations of being a cutesy girl, I plucked too much. Fed up with it all and too embarrassed to show my roommate at the time, I ran into the bathroom, and had a little freak-out session.

Whoopi_Goldberg_Cannes_1992Then, I promptly took up a razor and shaved what was left off, thinking if Whoopi Goldberg could get away with it, why couldn’t I?

I couldn’t get away with it. It was now extremely hard to tell what facial expression I was using, and it was very disturbing. So I rooted through my roommate’s make-up kits and found an eyebrow stencil and eyebrow pencil and proceeded to draw on some eyebrows. Well, more like “colored in” a stencil I was holding over my hairless brow. Then, it didn’t look so bad.

…Or so I thought.

When my roommate showed up, wondering what I was up to, she started howling with laughter at my work of art decorating my lower forehead. I was humiliated. She asked what the hell happened and I told her, which again reduced her to a loud fit of giggles. When she finally could be mature again, she told me she would draw in the brows for me, as I definitely had no sense of symmetry in my work. I was offended. After all, I had gone to art school. But I guess I must be a Picasso, and if I wasn’t careful, I would next be drawing a nose on my chin.

So the next day, I forced myself to go to work, but not without first wearing a bandanna so low on my head, it came down to my nonexistent eyebrows, and I pulled out from underneath the bandanna some strands of hair.

Then I switched out my glasses to the bigger, chunkier retro black glasses, and I got away with it for a few days. Thank god my eyebrows grow quickly. I would have looked like Grandpa Munster if I let myself go a little too much. It’s really a darn shame.

Today, I let someone else do the eyebrows. I learned a painful lesson from all of that.

Another way I wanted to be more chic and feminine was to get highlights in my hair. One time I got it done, years ago, when I had shorter hair, and it looked really good.

So years later, with slightly longer hair, I decided to go for it again. I went to a decent salon and requested the “Highlights for Lowlife Hair Special.” When everything was finished, I looked in the mirror and recoiled in horror when I saw that my once dark brown hair was now black, and the highlights that were supposed to be a dirty blond color, were now in fact bright orange!

I looked like the Princeton Tiger! I was horrified.

I told them to do something. They said they couldn’t. I refused to pay and tore out of there and ran to the car as fast as I could, lest anyone would actually see this abomination that was my head.

I went home and cried. I thought how ugly I already was and this made it worse. I recalled that the lady who screwed this mane up told me to wait 24 to 48 hours, and then use a home coloring kit that was to be two shades darker than my natural color, and it would make all of my hair one good, darker brown color. So I tried this. I followed the directions, after wearing bandannas or hats for two days, and when the time came to see how it looked, the black was still black and the orange was even brighter!

Well, I hung out that night with a bunch of girls, lamenting my latest stroke of bad luck, with intermittent fits of giggles on their parts– certainly not mine– and by the end of the evening, the girls had shaved my head.

I now had no hair. Not one strand of long, dark brown, wavy hair graced my naked head.

Man, I have to break out the bandannas again. After a while, I had a crew cut look as the hair was growing back in, and I very briefly had a serious case of gender identity crisis.

Years later, today in fact, I have long dark brown wavy hair that will never ever get a coloring job done again by a salon or even a barber.

I put make-up on myself, and I look like I work at a fair, giving face painting jobs to little kids’ faces.

I pluck my own eyebrows, and I look like a white Whoopi! It’s not a pleasant look.

I try to get a nice hair dye or something done, and I look like I’m wearing a rainbow wig that is usually only donned by professional clowns.

I finally had to face it. I’m a tomboy. Through and through.

And I’m finally okay with that.

FASHION: Males Are Now Going to Great Lengths

by Kristie LeVangie

Hair extensions used to be reserved for women.

Well…not anymore.

Celebs like Justin Bieber,


Harry Styles,


and David Beckham


have men feeling as self-conscious about what they have “on top” as they are about what’s on the bottom.

Salons in the U.K. are reporting as much as a 200% increase in male hair extension interest.  Whether it’s length, texture or volume, men are seeking ways to emulate the stars and enhance their coiffure beauty.

One of the companies leading this revolution was Great Lengths.  Check out some of their amazing transformations here:

Extensions aren’t just for men who want to make a statement.  They are for any man who wants to maintain his youthful mane, and for some can be a viable alternative to the scary “plugs” or surgical hair replacement procedures.

We say two thumbs up to this male beauty trend.  What do you think, men?  Would you ever?

Liv’n The Single Life: Five Reasons I Hate Relationships

Liv 'n The Single Life


I go back and forth on relationships.  There are times when I’m not in one– which has been the majority of my life– that I long for someone to talk to, someone to cuddle with, and a consistent sex partner.

But when I’m in one…there are days I can’t stand one more minute of incessant questioning, obligatory pet names, and routine hand holding.

Relationships kill passion, or at least that’s been my experience.  I think those stories of long-lasting lovers are urban myths more than anyone’s reality.

In my relationships, the man always ultimately loses himself.  I end up making all the decisions, and I lose what spontaneity I need to feel challenged and surprised.  I grow bored. He feels lost, and it ultimately leads to failure.

The top 5 reasons I hate relationships:

1.) ‘I love you’s become routine rather than any expression of feeling.  They’re mere greetings of comings and goings.

2.) Both of you stop caring about your appearances.  You become a rain forest of leg hair, and he goes days without bathing.

3.) Anything becomes a reason NOT to have sex.  “It’s late.” “I’m too full.” “I’m just too tired.”

4.) You tell each other everything, and you start to tune one another out in your boredom of it all.

5.) Time alone is a rare and delightful gift.  When you are always together, you become smothered.

I only have to look at this list to remind myself why I would rather microwave dinners than share my bed with his toenail clippings.

RECIPE: Crock-Pot Orange Chicken

Pitmaster Jimi James




by Pitmaster Jimi James


What do you do when you want Chinese?  Make it at home in your very own slow cooker/Crock-Pot, of course.

Today I’m sharing an easy recipe that goes well over long grain rice, brown rice or instant rice.  Personally, I like brown rice.  Of course, I don’t do my brown rice by the box, but that’s a different article!  This is a chicken recipe you can get going in the morning and have it ready by game time!!! FOOTBALL and FALL– my two favorites of the whole year.

Let’s look at this easy Orange Chicken.

What you will need:

You will need a frying pan and a Crock-Pot and…



2 lbs. boneless/skinless chicken thighs, cubed into 1.5” to 2” pieces

2 cups all-purpose flour

3 to 4 Tbsp. canola oil


1.  Take your frying pan, add your oil and set the pan on medium to medium-high heat.  We are not going to cook the chicken all the way.  We are just browning the chicken and giving it texture for the sauce to stick to.

2.  While your pan and oil are heating up, dice your chicken.


3. Now, dredge your chicken in your flour.  Once you have all your chicken pieces covered in flour, slowly put them in your frying pan.  SLOWLY!!! Cooking safety is first. Remember, we are just browning the chicken– not cooking it. Once all your chicken pieces are browned, put chicken on paper towels to get extra oil off.

Cooking Chicken

4. Put your diced chicken into your Crock-Pot.



Now for the sauce…

(I can’t wait for the game!)



1 can of Orange Juice concentrate unthawed

¼ cup + 1 Tbsp. Orange Marmalade

¼ cup + 1 Tbsp. Dark Brown Sugar

¼ cup your favorite BBQ sauce

1 tsp. Balsamic vinegar

½ tsp. ground ginger

  • add some heat with a tsp. of crushed red pepper


In a bowl, add all the ingredients and whisk until everything is mixed and combined together.

BBQ Sauce OJ Orange Marmalade



Now, pour the sauce over the chicken and turn the Crock-Pot on high for 3 to 4 hours.  Make sure you stir the chicken every 30 to 45 minutes. The sauce will thicken and make your place smell awesome.

When time is just about up go ahead and make you rice according to the directions on the box or bag. When chicken is done, put the chicken on top of your rice and BASH!!!!

Orange Chicken


Stay hungry, my friends.  Until next time!!!

A Not So Gentle Reminder

By Jeffersen Sylvia

“In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.” (John Stuart Mills)


pa•tri•ot [pey-tree-uh t, -ot] –noun
1. a person who loves, supports, and defends his or her country and its interests with devotion.
2. a person who regards himself or herself as a defender, esp. of individual rights, against presumed interference by the federal government.

pa•tri•ot•ism [pey-tree-uh-tiz-uh m] –noun

1. devoted love, support, and defense of one’s country; national loyalty.

All right everyone… Fair warning… This one may really hack some people off, but please bear with me. There is a reason I’m going here. A while ago I was involved in a very deep, sometimes heated, but friendly debate with a group of people evenly spread between military and non-military backgrounds, and the Service folks were again, evenly split between combat and non-combatant vets. The discussion was between Patriotism vs. Politics, Beliefs vs. Support, Support vs. Activism…

Let me tell you the conversation circled the globe about three different times, and we got a LOT of conflicting opinions and elements of the same issue from a lot of different perspectives. I left the conversation, and remembered an old article by Mark Twain c. 1905, that is a really good place to start, so I’m going to add an “abridged” version here because some of the conflicts and poplitics would be too deep to discuss without going into British and French Imperialistic politics from the turn of the last century (I figured I’d save you the pain)

“IT IS AGREED, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent upon him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not. In some other countries this is not the case. There the state arranges a man’s religion for him, he has no voice in it himself.

Patriotism is merely a religion — love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country’s flag and honor and welfare. In absolute monarchies it is furnished from the throne, cut and dried, to the subject; in England and America it is furnished, cut and dried, to the citizen by the politician and the newspaper.

The newspaper-and-politician-manufactured patriot often gags in private over [what he is to consider to be patriotic]; but he takes it, and keeps it on his stomach the best he can. Blessed are the meek.

Sometimes, in the beginning of an insane shabby political upheaval, he is strongly moved to revolt, but he doesn’t do it — he knows better. He knows that his maker would find out — the maker of his patriotism, the windy and incoherent [editor of the local newspaper] — and would bray out in print and call him a traitor. And how dreadful that would be. It makes him tuck his tail between his legs and shiver. We all know — the reader knows it quite well — that [at many times large portions of the populace] in England and America performed just that act. Which is to say, nine-tenths of the patriots in England and America turned traitor to keep from being called traitor. Isn’t it true? You know it to be true. Isn’t it curious?

Yet it was not a thing to be very seriously ashamed of. A man can seldom — very, very seldom — fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy. For many a year — perhaps always — the training of nations had been dead against independence in political thought, persistently inhospitable toward true patriotism manufactured on a man’s own premises, patriotism reasoned out in the man’s own head and fire-assayed and tested and proved in his own conscience. The resulting patriotism was a shopworn product procured at second hand. The patriot did not know just how or when or where he got his opinions, neither did he care, so long as he was with what seemed the majority — which was the main thing, the safe thing, the comfortable thing. Does the reader believe he knows three men who have actual reasons for their pattern of patriotism — and can furnish them? Let him not examine, unless he wants to be disappointed. He will be likely to find that his men got their patriotism at the public trough, and had no hand in its preparation themselves.

Training does wonderful things. It moved the people of this country to oppose the [Wars]; then moved them to fall in with what they supposed was the opinion of the majority — majority patriotism is the customary patriotism — and go there and fight. Before the Civil War it made the North indifferent to slavery and friendly to the slave interest; in that interest it made Massachusetts hostile to the American flag, and she would not allow it to be hoisted on her State house — in her eyes it was the flag of a faction. Then by and by, training swung Massachusetts the other way, and she went raging South to fight under that very flag and against that aforetime protected interest of hers.

There is nothing that training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach or below it. It can turn bad morals to good, good morals to bad; it can destroy principles, it can recreate them; it can debase angels to men and lift men to angelship. And it can do any one of these miracles in a year — even in six months.

Then men can be trained to manufacture their own patriotism. They can be trained to labor it out in their own heads and hearts and in the privacy and independence of their own premises. It can train them to stop taking it by command… I hope…

Bottom line people… We live in a bubble-gum-flavor-of-the-minute-pop-culture-multi-media-only-know-what’s-told-to-me-while-I-catch-cnn-before-heading-to-Starbucks world… We all saw the lines of flags hanging from every house in the months following September 11… Where are they now? Did the love and support for the Nation as a whole, and the troops go away? No! they got “lost” as background noise in the political coverage between the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq, of the Nationalistic in-fighting between the members of the UN security council.

I’m not saying that you have to love this country… you don’t even have to like it as far as I’m concerned (but honestly, if that’s the way you feel, please leave)… I’m not really happy with some of the ideals and political ideas that are being bantered around right now. I’m not really happy with the economic status in many states. I’m not happy with many of the social programs that are not being implemented correctly.


I’ve been around the world a few times, and I have truly seen the best and worst in human nature, and the different governmental systems that are out there, and WE, as Americans still have the best game going! The system isn’t perfect, it’s broken, and mis-managed in many places, but honestly, we as individuals have the unique opportunity to affect change. That is a rare and wonderful gift in this world.

Patriotism is NOT following a political line, Patriotism is NOT supporting a conflict that you do not believe should be fought, Patriotism is NOT blindly following the media to tell you when it’s OK to show you’re patriotic.

Patriotism is remembering that whether you believe in a conflict or not “People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” Conflicts happen for economic and political reasons, and young men, and women, die daily for that. It’s been that way for Thousands of years, and is not likely to change. Please remember that young men and women volunteer to serve, but once they do, they have little choice on their lot in life after that. Love them for that. (If you can’t do that, at least respect them) Please remember that WE as individuals have the RIGHT to Vote, and to speak out against issues that we do not agree with, and we have the opportunity to affect change through activism, and volunteering for the things we hold worthy. Love this country for that.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

All I really want to say is that you do not have to be a “Flag Waver,” or die for your country to be a Patriot. You don’t have to Love a lot, but if you hold something worthy of love, you’d DAMN sure better love it a lot… Listen, be attentive, learn, and if you do not like what’s going on around you, do what you can to affect changes… THAT is what being a Patriot is. If you are not willing to get off your ass and do something about what bothers you… Then I have not the patience, energy, or time to deal with you…

I have changes I want made, and I’m busy.

Fresh Eyes for Your Mind

by Jeffersen Sylvia 

“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” (Bertrand Russell)

I had a great conversation the other day that generated a whole tangential discussion on knowledge, perception, and opinion, that I’d like to share with you. I am a firm believer that all knowledge is a dangerous growing process. Dangerous, because once a truth is learned, and becomes a personal axiom, if it is not taken out and dusted off occasionally, and tested against who, what, where, when, and how YOU are today, you just might find that the truth as you knew it is no longer valid.

All knowledge begins in steps: Instinct, Observation, Experience, Knowledge, Perspective.

“Those who forget good and evil and seek only to know the facts are more likely to achieve good than those who view the world through the distorting medium of their own desires.”(Bertrand Russell)

Knowledge-Reid-HighsmithWhen anything happens around us, we have an instinctual reaction to that instance good/bad, fight/flight, etc. [Instincts can be tempered, trained, or altered, but it takes a LOT to do it]. We can see someone from across a room, and there is an “instinct” there, attraction, repulsion, curiosity, anger, a whole host of possibilities. However, when we run into someone/something that says, “Danger” we usually listen. If the hairs on the back of our neck stand up, we usually listen, and we should… It’s an instinct that goes back a LONG way in our genetic code.

From there we observe people and situations from the outside, and try to place that shape into the corresponding keyhole. If it’s an easy choice, we’ll usually move on fairly quickly, problem solved. We now think we know what’s going on around us, and DAMN! We didn’t even have to think about that one. Then we run into those that don’t neatly fit into the current observation base. Uh Oh! **Danger Will Robinson! Danger!**

Well! Now we actually have the choice to leave this one as an unknown, or dig a bit deeper and go for the experience of it. Sometimes this is because everything up to now is not throwing off any alarms, seems safe, and you’ve seen it a dozen times, just never “done” it. Hell, every three year old riding a tricycle looks at a two-wheeler as something familiar yet unknown.

So… Now we throw a toe in the water, because we have to see whether the experience is worth digging deeper still. OK.  Seems fine, we have a little bit of experience under our belts. Was it warm, cold, pleasant, unpleasant, this is the point where we can either say to ourselves, I NEED to know about this, or I can easily live without knowing this.

If we NEED to know… Damn! The Human mind is a needful thing, by nature. it wants to learn, and fill, and experience, and record. So now we have to dive in, and figure it all out. This is where the fun starts! The more life experience, and the more knowledge we acquire, and aspire to, the more difficult it is to not let any new knowledge or experiences be colored by our past. Think of how difficult it is to not let your past get in the way. If you had a bad experience in an elevator, you probably get nervous today. This goes with every aspect of every new experience we encounter, ESPECIALLY people.

Every new bit of knowledge that we ingest, on whatever subject needs to be tempered with the perception of who we are, why we are, and what we are trying to gain knowledge of. More importantly, we need to realize that when we apply our experiences and current knowledge to something new, we may end up changing it to suit what we already “know,” and not looking at it from the perspective of this is “new” and I need to see whether it fits into where I think it fits, or elsewhere… If we give the process a ghost of a chance, we usually see new and exciting things everyday that can enrich our lives, and we can gain good and fair ideas that will suit where we are today.

You’re alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative is so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounds like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act. Learn.” (Barbara Hall)

Joy of Nude Beaches

by Johnny Jackhammer

I want to be naked.

I’ll bet you do, too. Even if you don’t know it yet.

Last weekend, we jumped at the chance to meet some friends at a nude beach relatively close by.

Would I be self-conscious? Would I feel relaxed? Would it be crowded? And a larger concern clouded my mind since one of my strong kinks is exhibitionism.   I wanted it to be an enriching, but not arousing, experience.

Before we arrived, my lady advised me to be careful not to “suck in” my gut. I was sure I’d be relaxed, but appreciated the reminder. She makes a good point: everybody can tell when you are doing that.

I quickly found a key difference from the “regular beach:” being nude gives you a remarkable freedom from self-consciousness. Everyone puts it all out there, which makes it very easy to be comfortable in your own skin. People aren’t trying to pose or primp in hopes of looking better, unlike at the swimsuit beaches. They know they are perfectly beautiful. Nudity both requires and generates confidence.

Sandy Nude Beach

Cool sand, warm water, beautiful bluffs.  (photo by Spankybare)


The setting itself was gorgeous. Bluffs overlooked the flowing river, sunshine reflecting in the water. Thanks to my friend, Spankybare, his early morning photo gives you a sense of the beauty and tranquility of the beach. (Truth be told, it was a public invitation by him that got us out there in the first place!)

There were about 75 people at the beach when we arrived in the late morning.  All gloriously stripped and soaking in the surrounding nature.

My next revelation: everybody looked terrific! And I mean everybody. While clothed in public, it’s easy to critique people based on their looks. With a fully nude public, however, you can sense the true beauty people have within. Perhaps it is because they are so comfortable and open. Everyone looked amazing, and all body styles are represented. It is really easy to fit in when everybody is naked.

Do you find yourself looking at other people’s naked bodies? Of course! But you see people as part of your experience, just as with the sand, water, and birds above. There isn’t anything lusty or lecherous about it. But it is a continually attractive environment.

Nude Beach

My muse, enhancing the scenery

I was also surprised by how easily we connected with other beachgoers. Conversations start quickly on the nude beach, and you already feel like you belong. Ironically, nude sunbathers come across as more friendly and welcoming than clothed beachgoers. I can’t strike up a conversation with a stranger in a bikini as easily as I can with somebody fully nude. Perhaps it’s the confidence. Perhaps it’s the vulnerability. Or maybe people are more authentic when stripped down bare.

Visiting a public nude beach is a “vanilla” experience, and folks are careful to avoid sex and drug activity. Yet while there isn’t anything sexual about the experience, it can be highly sensual. It’s liberating to lay back in the hot sun and feel the warm breeze on your entire body. It felt good; I felt free; and I felt sexy in my own way.

The river itself was a sensation. Moving through the flowing water is unique when you’re naked in the daylight. As I swam along one shallow area, I could feel the pumice of the sand rub along my body.   Alone in the water, shoulders heated in the sun, I allowed the current to push my body backwards along the sand. Sensuality came through the scratch of the coarse sand along my body from my chest to my toes. It aroused my senses and my spirit.   I wished I could swim this way every day.

In the end, our only regret is that it took so long to try the experience! Sure, my shoulders are sunburned. But I only remember the peace of the gorgeous surroundings, the beauty of the clouds, and the cheerfulness of the people as they enjoyed feeling one with nature.

Now who’s ready to go?

INTERVIEW: Cassie Wolfe, LCSW, MEd., PhD Candidate

Cassie Wolfe, LCSW, MEd., PhD Candidate

Cassie Wolfe

Cassie Wolfe is a clinical social worker at an inpatient psychiatric facility where she provides case management and therapy (specializing in human sexuality) for adults, and sex education to our two adolescent units. She is also a guest lecture and facilitates trainings to other healthcare professionals on a variety of sexuality-related issues: adolescent sexuality, working with the LGBTQ population, and transgender healthcare concerns. And as if that weren’t enough, she is also part of a “sex expert” panel for providing sex and relationship advice to members who email questions.

How did you find yourself here? What’s your story?

Like many other young people, I was obsessed with learning and talking about sex. Since I was always open to talking about sex and relationships, I became the “go to” person for my friends. At 16, an opportunity presented itself to become an editorial board member for a nationally published teen written sexuality newsletter, Sex, Etc. Writing about sexual health issues sparked my desire to continue the conversation about sex and healthy sexuality by exploring any and every issue on the sexuality spectrum. I often joked about becoming a “sex therapist” and even dressed up as what I thought one might look like, for Halloween one year! Deep inside I knew I wanted to somehow merge my passion for helping people resolve their problems with my love and curiosity about sexual health; but, I was clueless about how to make it a reality.

My first real job out of college was as a treatment adherence counselor for individuals who were HIV-positive. It wasn’t, however, until my friend, Heather and I were drinking Starbucks and rummaging through books about relationships at Barnes and Nobles that I realized what I wanted and needed to do. Heather said, “I don’t know why you’re not doing this! You’ve always wanted to do sex therapy – do it already!” That night I started googling programs and was eventually accepted into Widener University’s dual degree masters in social work and doctorate in human sexuality program. Since starting the program, I have continued to work with people with HIV/AIDS, mental health, and/or substance abuse issues. I hope to eventually open a private practice and continue working with other healthcare professionals to educate them about sexuality issues that affect the people they treat.

If you could go back, would you do it again or take another path? And what would that look like you think?

I was always fascinated with law and animals; however, there’s not one day I wake up and think “What if.” I wake up every day loving what I do and feel inspired to do more. There was a three year gap between the time I graduated from undergrad and entered grad school; so perhaps if I could’ve changed my journey, I would’ve had it start a bit sooner.

Describe your life in one word.


What’s your guilty pleasure?

Watching Judge Judy.

Worst assumptions made about you based on what you do?

Lots! That I must have something psychologically wrong with me to enjoy talking about sex and listening to people talk about their sex lives; that I must have been sexually abused as a child to pursue a career in this field; that I have sex with my clients; that I have sex with my clients and then teach them how to be better; that I somehow know everything about sex; that I must be interested in any and every sexual behavior; or that I watch couples having sex and coach them through every moment. There’s also this assumption that I’m one dimensional and only want to talk about sex 24/7.

Are women as sexually graphic as men in your experience?

I find that when people, both men and women, feel safe, comfortable, and trusting, they are equally as graphic. Sometimes all someone needs is permission to express him/herself free of guilt and judgment, and then poof, the floodgates are opened!

Correct some misconceptions about (your project/career/lifestyle).

Right now there is no title protection for terms like “therapist,” “counselor,” or “educator.” There are some people who have no formal training in human sexuality and are able to offer services and identify themselves as any of those titles. There are people who also identify themselves as “sexual surrogates” or “body workers” and also as “counselors,” who do engage sexually with the people who come to them for help. This creates mass confusion about who does what and why there are many assumptions about whether sex therapists have sex with their clients. Clinical professions such as social workers, psychologists, licensed professional counselors, marriage and family therapists, and psychiatrists are all ethically bound by their respective boards to NOT have sexual relationships with their clients. Doing otherwise is a major ethical violation that would likely result in the loss of one’s license and ability to practice. In most states, it is still illegal to pay for sex or sexual acts like prostate massages or masturbation. If people are ever confused about what services someone is offering, a good starting place is to look up the credentials after their name.

Contact Cassie at any of her social media links:


Twitter: @SexGuruCSW


RECIPE: Snickers Caramel Apple Salad

Pitmaster Jimi James



by Pitmaster Jimi James



It’s September now, and we are slowly saying “goodbye” to summer and “hello” to fall (which in case you didn’t know is the best season of the four we have). Apples, pumpkin pies, trick-or-treat, leaves changing, and more desserts–what’s not to love???

Well, Snickers just happens to be my favorite candy bar of all time.


So any time I can eat one, or make something from one, I’m all for it!

Remember kids, chocolate starts as a bean, that means chocolate is technically a vegetable. So eat plenty of chocolate every day!!! (Please don’t send me hate mail . . . Chocolate starts as a bean, look it up!!!!)

So this time, we are gonna make a dessert that incorporates apples and Snickers into one dessert!  Now this salad may not technically be a salad, but hey, we’re here for the sweetness, not the health.

Make this for a fall dessert, birthday parties, baby showers, Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.  When others are bringing pies, cakes and cobblers, you are sure to be a hit at your party or dinner when you arrive with this sweet treat.

If you love Snickers and apples, you will realize this recipe is AWESOME!!!! It’s super easy, and you can whip it up in about 10 minutes and then chill it until it’s ready to serve.  It’s a great dessert salad that combines different textures and flavors.  The best part is, you can play around with the recipe and add, or subtract, what you like, or don’t like, and completely make it your own.


Here is what we’re gonna need:


  • 6 regular Snickers bars (4 for the salad and 2 for sauce)
  • 4 medium-sized apples (Red Delicious or Granny Smith are great.)
  • 1 (5.1 oz.) package vanilla instant pudding, dry
  • ½ cup milk
  • 1 (16 oz.) tub Cool Whip, thawed
  • ½ cup caramel ice cream topping


First thing we’re gonna do is pour the dry instant vanilla pudding into a bowl. Add ½ cup cold milk–the colder, the better– and for desserts, I prefer whole milk. Keep the 2% for everyday use.  We want rich and creamy for decadent desserts.

Whisk the milk and pudding mix together.


Next, you’re going to add the 16-ounce tub of Cool Whip to the pudding mix and whisk until thoroughly combined.

Now, go ahead and pop this in the fridge until we’re done with the next step.

Cool Whip

Next, chop 4 of the Snickers bars and the apples into bite-size pieces.

[NOTE: Please make sure you remove the apple core before chopping the apples, or you won’t like this dessert.  Apple seeds contain cyanide, and you don't want to make anyone sick.  You want them talking about how great this was.]

Snicker Salad


Stir the apples and Snickers bars into the pudding mixture and transfer from your mixing bowl to a casserole dish or a 9×13 pan.

The last part of this recipe is this: Chop the last 2 Snickers bars and put in a microwave safe bowl.  Microwave for 10 seconds at a time until the Snickers are completely melted.  Now, drizzle the melted Snickers over top of our dessert, PLUS take that caramel sauce and drizzle it over top of our dessert too.

Now, pop this in the fridge for an hour or two before serving. Enjoy!!!!

Snicker Salad Finished Product

Stay hungry, my friends.  Until next time…


RECIPE: Apple Marinade Pork Chops

Pitmaster Jimi James



By Pitmaster Jimi James


One of my favorite meats to make is pork chops. Pork chops have been baked,

Baked Pork chop





and grilled.

Grilled pork chops

Nothing…and I mean NOTHING…goes with pork like apples do. Whether it’s a seasoning, a brine or a marinade, apples are a mainstay with pork!!!

Today, I’ve decided to share one of my basic, yet amazing, marinades for pork chops.  If you tried my recipe for easy pulled pork cooked with apple juice, then you already know how the end of this story turns out. You’re going get a ton of compliments and probably not a lot of chops, because everyone is gonna want seconds and thirds and maybe even fourths.

What You Need:

2 medium size bone-in or boneless pork chops (If you plan on making more than two pork chops, just double the recipe for the marinade.)

You’ll also need a grill–charcoal, electric or gas. Use what you enjoy grilling on.

And of course, Ingredients for marinade:

  • 2 cups apple juice
  • ½ cup apple juice concentrate
  • 3 Tbsp your favorite hot sauce
  • 1 Tbsp regular salt


Put all the marinade ingredients in a bowl and whisk together.

Place 2 half-inch pork chops in a one-gallon storage/freezer Ziploc bag. Then, pour the marinade over the chops. Make sure to push all the air out of the bag and seal it shut.

Put the bag in a bowl and put the bowl in the fridge for no more than 2 hours. Mix marinade (by swooshing the bag around and making sure the marinade is covering the meat) into the chops every 30 minutes.

After 2 hours, put on your grill at a medium–low heat.  Each side should grill for 7 to 10 minutes.

Make sure to use a digital thermometer to check the temp of the chops. They are done when the internal temperature reaches 150 to 155 degrees.

Let the meat rest a few minutes before serving and enjoy!

Stay Hungry, My Friends…Until Next Time!