by Kristie LeVangie
An acquaintance on FB messaged me shortly after I posted the following status update:
I place too much hope in non-deserving people…mostly men.
He wanted to know why I was STILL having problems and after a few message exchanges came back with this:
The men you keep having relationships with don’t have libidicoria. They’re just run of the mill horny men. It takes something special, a discipline, to control your irrational fears and accept the nature of a dick magnet, to trust that when it comes down to it, she will repel all other dicks except your own. To be honest, it really just takes character. But character isn’t sexy or “bad boy” hot.
He has a point. I AM a dick magnet. lol
Okay, kidding aside. It DOES boil down to character and an ability to separate perception from reality.
This is the recurring theme with me. Assumptions are made about me without proof. Assumptions that I sleep with every man I meet. That my life and enjoyment is all about sex and sex alone.
In fact, for example, here’s an interesting partial review from Barnes & Noble’s site on my book (Libidacoria: In a Plain Brown Wrapper) from some Anonymous reader:
Honestly, from the authors website I was expecting a porn book,she doesn’t come off as a writer by her pictures,instead she comes off to want to be the object of men’s desire and obsession but you can’t judge a book by its cover or the author by some pictures.
The reviewer goes on to change his tone after reading the book:
Libidacoria seems to me, when you get past the language and subject matter, that the author is taking you on a journey to find real love the only way she can think of. There is a sad darkness laced with hope and dreams, along with the bitterness from not finding what she truly desires. It isn’t porn at all, the tag on her web site is true, it is Mature Literature for the sexual intellectual. It makes me sad to think she won’t find what she is looking for. I hope she does.
It’s still odd to me, the assumptions made about “my person”. I suppose it’s because it’s so contrary to how I, myself, think. I reserve judgment until I feel I’ve gotten enough evidence to support a conclusion. I try to keep an open mind always and want everyone to feel welcome around me despite their eccentricities.
Perhaps the more interesting feedback from my facebook message is: “It takes something special, a discipline, to control your irrational fears and accept the nature of a dick magnet, to trust that when it comes down to it, she will repel all other dicks except your own. To be honest, it really just takes character.”
Are we facing an era where men are no longer disciplined to control their fear of female sexuality? Have they ever been disciplined or has the growing aggression of female sexual behavior throwing men for a loop? They have often been the ones to go out and spread their seed with willing participants. Are we now in an era where women are no longer afraid to go after sexual experiences alone with little to no regard for a “relationship”? What does this changing social power exchange do to those of us women out there looking for relationships?
Does it truly boil down to character? Are we losing it?