by Kristie LeVangie
Too much of a good thing…can be wonderful. – Mae West
Sometimes, people just do obviously stupid things. In 2010, it was a writer for Marie Claire magazine, only I’m going to hold Marie Claire guilty as well since they obviously had to give permission to publish this heinous article. Tisk, tisk, MC.
So what’s the controversy?
Well, if you were hiding under a rock that year, or if you are fat and lazy like me and can’t get up from the couch, perhaps you haven’t heard that Maura Kelly posted a “fattie” bashing article on MarieClaire.com. More to the point, she posted a “fatties having sex” bashing article. You can read the full article here, but I pulled some of my “favorite” quotes for you below to save you the time and hassle of reading such distasteful reporting. Comments included:
“Hmm, being overweight is one thing — those people are downright obese!”
“Yes, I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room…”
“I’m happy to give you some nutrition and fitness suggestions if you need them — but long story short, eat more fresh and unprocessed foods, read labels and avoid foods with any kind of processed sweetener in them whether it’s cane sugar or high fructose corn syrup, increase the amount of fiber you’re getting, get some kind of exercise for 30 minutes at least five times a week, and do everything you can to stand up more — even while using your computer — and walk more. I admit that there’s plenty that makes slimming down tough, but YOU CAN DO IT! Trust me.”
“But … I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It’s something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.”
I think you get a sense of the hateful, condescending tone of the article. Again, tisk, tisk, Marie Claire. (And dammit, it even interfered with my enjoyment of the season 8 Project Runway finale. It’s tainted Nina Garcia!) *throws hands up in disgust
Maura’s reaction to the sexy scenes in the new CBS sitcom Mike & Molly was probably just one of those assignments she wanted to get out the door. It was a bad day when it backfired, wreaking havoc across the internet by anyone remotely overweight. And truth be told, there are a variety of backlash blogs to read on this issue.
I, being the queen (in every plus-size reference you can muster) couldn’t let this topic go without discussing it since it involves sex. Now could I?
And let me first start by saying, I’m not going to harp on the fact that many overweight people can’t “control” their weight due to health or hereditary issues. I’m not going to point out the fact that Maura throws out advice like an expert weight loss instructor but has no professional qualifications. (She’s a writer, not a personal trainer.) And I’m not going to ruminate about the possible causes of her disgust with obesity. This is not a personal attack on Maura, but a reaction to her article. (And of course, by not stating I’m going to point them out…I totally just pointed all that out! lol)
I weigh more than 200 pounds, and not only do I love sex, I have it…LOTS of it. If people are genuinely disgusted as Maura might suggest, why is it that I have no trouble finding a viable partner for pleasurable pastime activities? If obesity is truly disgusting and that ideal is shared by the majority, then why do the same men continue to knock at my door?
And I’m sure Maura’s next move would be to say that any woman giving it away so willingly will have no problem finding a man to take it…no matter what she looks like, but sexuality has historically been represented by curvier women. To support this argument, I would call out the great painter, Sir Peter Paul Rubens, or the sex icons – Mae West, Marilyn Monroe and Bettie Page. Hell, even Roseanne and Dan got frisky on mainstream sitcom television in my teenage years. Bill Clinton chased a plus-size Monica Lewinsky around the oval office, and even the promiscuously innocent Betty Boop proved cartoonized fleshy women can be lusted after. Hell, what about the ever notorious Elizabeth Taylor or the ever gorgeous Tyra Banks? Neither of these women has been at a loss for male companionship. And just try to deny of the beauty of Queen Latifah.
Curvy women have been celebrated, adored, and lusted after. This is nothing new.
Mike & Molly brings my sex life into the mainstream again. It represents for millions of women, like me, size 14 and up, that weight isn’t an excuse for turtlenecks and barnyard animal-embroidered denim shirts. A little cellulite is NOT an excuse for a missed orgasm. We, as an overweight society, have become so uncomfortable with ourselves because we listen to the media, subscribe to fashion magazines and just generally love to beat ourselves up. I say, No more!
Being sexy is a state of mind, not a thigh measurement or achieved qualifier on the bathroom scale. Sexy is about confidence, fun, exploration and mental intoxication. Sexy is about indulgent living, succumbing to temptations and living through our senses.
To all plus-size goddesses reading this, please don’t let the “Mauras” of the world mind-fuck you into devaluing yourselves. If the majority of us are size 14 and above, why are we continuing to let mainstream media cater to our lettuce-grazing, calorie-obsessing toothpick buddies?
Mike & Molly, while not a show personally enjoyed, is a representation of a more “real” couple, a couple most of us can identify with—far more relatable than reality shows like The Jersey Shore or The Real Housewives of ANY County, State or City.
And it’s blatantly obvious that Maura doesn’t watch much porn. Entire sections of porn libraries taut BBW fetish films and even feederism films that celebrate chunky lovin’.
I’m not calling out Maura because she’s thin. I’m not calling her out because I have hostility over my own size. I’m calling her out because that’s what I do when I see blatant closed-minded comments and blanket assumptions set out for the world to see. By publishing her article, she made herself free game to rebuttals and discussions.
I hate to be the one to lay it out for her, but fat people fuck. I even hear fat people fuck better. Size is a fleeting sign of the times. 1000 years ago, I would have been more sought after than my bony counterpart.
And with that I say, “Pass the ice cream.” Let’s talk about fat sex.
Share your thoughts.