You Gotta Handler That To Her

by Kristie LeVangie The NY Post reported this week that comedian Chelsea Handler came out of the closet. Chelsea Handler No.  She’s not gay. She’s openly and freely admitting that she has no interest in marriage.  She only wants sex….sex with everyone.

“I didn’t want to date him, but I wanted to have some casual sex without any strings attached…That, I think, is a present to the world, you know? I think, wow, look at this, I don’t want anything, I have a house, I have money, I have food.

I like to get down to business…I mean, why wouldn’t I? I don’t have kids, I don’t want to be married. I mean can’t everybody just have sex with me?”

Chelsea’s blasé attitude regarding relationships sheds the skin of age-old stereotypes about the emotional state of women when it comes to sex.

Not every woman has to have a relationship to give up the booty.  Not all women are interested in marriage or long-term anything.  Not every woman has relationship intentions with all men.  Some of them are just not suitable to be life partners.

It’s a changing landscape for female sexuality, and whether you like her or not, Handler is a mouthpiece for our generation.  She’s not afraid to “go there.” She’s challenging society’s perceptions (as all great comedians do) and forging the way for all women to openly express their thoughts, feelings and challenges when it comes to sex.

What are YOUR thoughts on relationships and sex?



  1. First reaction is to give her a “high five,” I think. I respect the candor, and I do think this is an emerging attitude among some folks.

    Sex with love is something on a different plane – there should almost be a different term for it. If you’re lucky enough to find just that right match to put the passion with the action, then it’s super good. It can be a terrific glue to a healthy relationship.

    But sex without love can be fun and feels good. I certainly wouldn’t disparage her feelings about it. I’m glad to see women feeling safer expressing a healthy attitude toward sex. I’ll bet the only difference between her and many guys I know would be her success ratio. More power to her.

    1. When I first read the article, I had a similar “You go girl” attitude. But there is that underlying nagging feeling I can’t let go of since I pushed it to publication.

      On Conan O’Brien, she actually stated, “I have a hard time meeting men, or dating men, long-term in LA — or in this country, for that matter — because people can hear what I’m saying, and guys don’t think it’s that hot.”

      So she is basically saying that women with “big mouths” are incapable of finding love (a phenomenon I myself have spent a few years documenting with my own personal experience), so she is settling for surface sexual relationships to cope with this setback. Also, something I myself have done over the years.

      However, the thing I guess I’m struggling with is…Is it really the content of what she is saying or the combative nature of her personality? I can’t see a guy a.) wanting to be in the limelight and b.) breaking through her crass exterior persona to get at the nurturing, reciprocative partner that is required for relationships to work.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s