Things grown single women should have in a backpack or trunk of their car
(a.k.a. the one-night stand survival kit)
How many times has it happened to you? You were feeling his mojo, picking up what he was laying down, and ended up going home with him. Instead of doing the “walk of shame” the next morning in last night’s clothes, think ahead and approach the situation with a little confidence…oh, and preparation.
- MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! Condoms! Obviously, you are a grown woman and have been single for more than a minute. Sexual health should always come first!
- Lube. Hey, you are already committed to the dirty deed. Might as well make it fun for everyone involved.
- Toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, and those damned addictive tooth floss picks. I mean flossing got Richard Gear in Pretty Woman.
- Deodorant. If it’s done right, you’re going to be putting a little physical effort in. Don’t want to smell like it too.
- Makeup touch-up kit, including concealer; mascara; lipstick; powder; small hotel shampoo, conditioner and lotions; perfume of some type, tampons/pads, baby wipes, and a shaver. You obviously don’t want to “look” how you “feel” after a turbulent night of wild abandon.
- Bobby pins. A quick messy bun can hide a multitude of “bed head” issues. In most cases you can’t take a shower and wash your hair at his place, and you may not have time to run home before stumbling into work.
- Energy drink and junk food. Candy, especially mints, never hurt.
- Phone charger. We’re in the modern tech age. You never want to be without your phone. It contains your entire life.
- Underwear and backup outfit. This is not just for hooking up. I actually keep coveralls AND boots in my trunk. You just never know when you’re going to end up stranded on the side of the highway. And did I mention that a skirt and high heels is not very fun in the snow bank? Although it IS fun for your boss to watch you hop out of the car while wearing said skirt, but I digress.
- I also keep a Pocket/Swiss Army knife on my keyring.
- Small instant coffee packets. Good luck getting one-night-stand Starbuck’s love from the random stranger or ex co-worker. And if it’s your preference, throw in some shelf-stable creamers as well.
- Mace. A pocket-sized dose of mace will ensure that should it come down to “No means No”, he really gets it. This is only to be used in absolute need.
So there you go– your best bet to be prepared. Now go have some fun, be happy, and be more alert in the morning while scrambling to get your walk of shame as dignified looking as possible.
But heed my warning. If you lock your keys in your car, or decide to let him drive you back to his place because you drank too much and you leave your bag in your car…this is really not going to help you very much. Now, is it?
Do as I say, not as I do. Right?
Hey, I’m the one out here taking the bullets.
Just trying to help a sister out.