by Johnny Jackhammer
Sometimes a spanking is called for.
Mild. Playful. Sharp. Rhythmic. Intense. Withheld. Surprising. Firm. Loving.
No two spanking sessions are quite alike.
And it’s not for everyone. Some give. Some receive. Some like both. Most don’t see the point. And the role isn’t gender-specific – both women and men can deserve a spanking. Yet an interest in this mild BDSM play might be a deal breaker for your lover.
If you have some interest and want to test your partner, start virtually. Seek out some erotic stories:
“You absolutely cannot make someone come just by spanking them.”
I say this with an authority that I, admittedly, don’t possess. Still, the idea that you could orgasm just from having your ass sufficiently smacked seemed ludicrous – the stuff of erotic stories and porn. Max is completely undisturbed by my lack of faith.
“Yes. You can.”
– excerpt from “Hard Knocks” by Malin James in The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, published by Cleis Press.
Or perhaps share a particularly hot gif or jpeg with your lover. (At this moment, Tumblr is your best friend for flash porn.) If the response from your lover is more “ooooo” than “eeew,” you have just opened up communication.
A good spanking is part of a punishment role play, an act that can “hurt so good” that it can increase the closeness you feel with your lover.
In my case, it evolved from bratty behavior by my lady. Not that she ever did anything truly wrong, but lustful daydreams and dalliances gave her a delicious, slutty tingle. She became aware that such naughtiness might deserve a spanking.
Your story will likely be different, so let’s talk about what can be the same – best practices in administering enjoyable spankings.
If you just jump in with a sharp smack, you are not likely to get a positive reaction. You both would benefit from a meaningful warm up. Get a confession to the slight or naughty behavior. Ask if she or he needs to be punished. (A reaction of “yes” will make your heart jump a beat.) While you are questioning and interacting, rub their ass near the area you expect to start. When you get the agreement you wanted, give a quick flat hand spank (firm, but easy, similar to a knee slap) in that spot. Give it a beat, then follow up with a similar spank in a place near where your first spank took place.
This is sensory role play, not torture. Make sure you keep moving your target as your slaps progress. Move the intensity upward as things heat up, but be mindful to back off regularly.
Especially at the beginning, you want to move around the fleshy areas of the ass. Be careful to stay away from the lower back near the kidneys. Also stay away from the upper thigh areas. Pain is part of the play, but those areas can cause either injury or action-stopping pain.
Check in Frequently
Spanking without conversation won’t be as fun. Ask questions about how naughty they were. Ask them if they deserve to be spanked for what they’ve done. Have fun with it. This also has the side benefit of keeping you on track with consent. This is vital, as it can be easy to get carried away.
If they start to say no, then back off. If they tell you to stop, stop immediately. If they are just getting to their limit, then ease up on the intensity with caresses. And remember, safe word, safe word, safe word.
Share the Rewards
When all goes well, the spanking will be one part of an orgasmic experience for you both. Unless the point of the scene is spanking only, I recommend you cut it off before it runs its course and take advantage of your partner’s wetness. Let your instinct take over and let the scene turn to more tender activities (or continue some smacks in the midst of some rougher play).
But don’t forget – a sexual spanking is about fun, not punishment!
Thanks is extended to Malin James, Rachel Kramer Bussel, and Cleis Press for their permission to quote their work.
For more of the story quoted above, plus 68 other arousing stories, be sure to check out the The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, published by Cleis Press. Find it at Amazon.
For an extra treat, listen to it read by Rose Caraway on Audiobook at Audible.