Peep-ology: The Science and Art of Sugar-coated Marshmallow

It’s almost Easter. That means it’s hunting season at local grocery stores for those sweet, sweet creatures called Peeps. You know that marshmallow goodness shaped vaguely like baby chickens and smothered in neon-colored sugar crystals.

To check out the manufacturing process of these sweet little guys and gals, check out this Chicago Tribune slide show.

Not only does MentalFloss.com give us 16 delicious facts about our favorite Easter candy, they verify what we all know: That yellow is still our favorite color Peep, but they do offer Peeps in a variety of colors.

This year, the company behind Peeps announced it will introduce a light green variety. How does lime fudge float your boat?

If you are lucky enough to live by a Target that showcases this chromatic display, you should have no problem finding a color to fit your Easter theme…and taste buds, of course.

Peeps & Co. in Mall of America

You are even luckier if you live in Minnesota and frequent the Mall of America because you can visit Peeps & Company– one of three flagship stores from Peeps originator, Just Born.

Other locations are located in National Harbor, Maryland, and Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Outside of the traditional marshmallow candies, you can find apparel, office gear, scented Yankee candles, and sporting equipment.

As you’ll note, Just Born is also the parent company of Hot Tamales and Mike and Ike.

If one little Peep — or a 4-pack– may not cut it, curb your Peep craving by constructing this giant Peep cake from the Food Network.

Peep Cake

BaconToday.com shows us how to enjoy this sugary confection covered in chocolate…and of course, BACON! Could it be true that even Peeps are better with bacon?

I have the same issues with Easter Peeps that I do with Thanksgiving Turkey– What do I do with the leftovers?

PopSugar.com has some suggestions for you, including Peep-za,

Peep-za

Peepshi,

Peepshi

or S’mores.

S’mores

Of course if you are competitive eater, Matt Stonie, wouldn’t have leftovers.

Peep Milk does a body better than any other form of Peep. Not sure that pouring this on your Fruit Loops will taste like…perhaps trying it as flavoring in your coffee?

Perhaps you would rather drink your Peeps in a “harder” form. Check out WikiHow to learn how to make Peeps Vodka.

Peeps Vodka

Have yet to find a Peep to fall in love with? This year, the company behind Peeps tweeted it will introduce the white Peep. These chicks are mysterious, and we know that every man loves a girl shrouded in mystery.

If you aren’t into eating them as much as playing with them, you enter the Washington Post’s annual Peep diorama contest. I love the masterpiece that celebrated the anniversary of Pride and Prejudice zombie style.

Artist David Ottogalli hosts the site PeepsShow.com where he showcases his own art and photography of Peep creations. His KF Peeps or “All Cooped Up” are definitely worth a closer investigation. (His images are copyrighted or I would have included an example here, but scoot on over to his website here.  It’s worth a quick view for the background alone.

BadCasserole.com will show you how to use Peeps to completely cover your cubicle.

They not only covered the entire ceiling, they blocked out the window, covered the desk and the keyboard platform as well. Funny that their friend wasn’t necessarily a fan of the legendary Peep.

Too much work?  How about a Peep-themed video game…or two? At I-Mockery.com, you can play Peepsteroids or Peep Invaders computer games.

Screen Shot 2015-03-05 at 1.36.42 PM

Interested in learning more? PeepResearch.org houses studies on how Peeps react to cold and hot, low-pressure environments, and Quintuplet separation surgeries. Perhaps most scientifically entertaining is their 3-part study on the effects of Alcohol and Smoking on our favorite little marshmallow sinners.

Study of the effects of smoking and alcohol on Peeps

Seems many people are obsessed with the science of Peep torture. TenHolder.net will show you how to take your traditional yellow peep and turn it into poop. That’s right, poop.

 Or you can do what Chief Scientist, Carl Nelson, did and put Peeps in a vacuum chamber.

And if those aren’t enough ways to torture a Peep, this blog gives you 100 ways to Kill a Peep, including by Jeep, grated, and of course, Luke Peepwalker.

Millikin University took it to a new level when they did research on Peeps’ abilities’ to do research.  You can check that out here.

Research on Peeps Doing Research

But don’t think these sweet divas want to stay in the laboratory, they have dreams of stardom as well. Filmmaker Adam Rifkin has optioned film and TV rights along with his partners for the Peeps candy. Just Born, the company pushing out Peeps all over the country, has sprung for a full-length family feature film in the style of the Lego Movie. The film will show the story of “a wayward Peep gets misplaced and must adventure through the fantasy lands of different-themed dioramas before the contest’s judging begins,” according to Deadline.com.

This wouldn’t be their first foray in Hollywood though. They guest starred on South Park’s Fantastic Easter Special where they were microwaved and saved the day.

South Park

They already know how to handle the paparazzi. ABC News featured pictures snapped from Peeps all over the world. Apparently, what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay there too long.

Photo by Kristen Hanson/National Geographic Traveler

Photo by Kristen Hanson/National Geographic Traveler

Psst! Hey, you…yeah, over here.  Wanna see the back room?

It’s NSFW (not safe for work) but you can see Peeps pinned to female parts here.

And yet, if none of this does anything for you…I mean, AT ALL, you can always join Ivan Knauer, who is probably the most vocal anti-Peep activist on Earth.

CAUGHT! Putting the “Squeeze” on Her Man

downloadI’ll be surprised if Christina Lorena Reber will ever have another man after you hear this story.

Christina, a 46-year-old Indiana resident, was sentenced yesterday to two years in prison for felony battery. She was charged after police learned that she flew into a rage after her 60-year-old boyfriend broke up with her just days before Valentine’s in 2012.

Bitter over the break-up, Christina literally took her man’s junk into her bare hands and squeezed as hard as she could until his scrotum was torn from his body.

In excruciating pain, the victim fought to pry his detached scrotum from Christina’s hands.

He was later treated at Muncie’s Ball Memorial Hospital where he underwent reconstructive surgery. Still with periods of pain, he will likely never be the same.

As our public service announcement, men, you have been warned about this one.

Fuck, Twitter! (grabs heart)

I have to say that the University of Pennsylvania does the coolest studies.  (This coming from someone who spends their day doing research in the marketing world.) And their most recent study illustrates this point.

If you are someone who uses the Twitterverse to voice your frustration, anger and anxiety, you may want to call your cardiologist stat!

Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 1.57.19 PM Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 1.56.27 PM Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 1.57.00 PM

Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 1.55.44 PM

U of P’s latest study published in the journal, Psychological Science, found a correlation between angry Tweeting and coronary heart disease.  That’s right.  They say your Twitter feed is a better indicator than smoking, diabetes, income, education and obesity COMBINED!

This isn’t the first time that academia has used big data for health predictions. A previous study coming out of Johns Hopkins University and George Washington University suggested that Twitter was a better predictor of the spread of the flu than the CDC or Google’s flu tracker.

With Twitter proving to be such a powerful prediction tool, what do you think will be next?  Weigh in below.

INTERVIEW: BJ Stahl, All-around Dynamo

I have known this woman forever it seems. She’s a dynamo and a force of nature. She prefers to be thought of as a “freak of nature” and wears that badge with honor. She’s what I hope to be when I grow up. For real!  I can’t even begin to communicate the respect and love I have for her. So I won’t. But you get the point. And you will love her too.


As I’ve done with all our interviewees, I sent her a list of questions that she was free to answer by picking and choosing.  Below is what I got back. At first, I thought to myself, “How do I tease this out to fit the format of the other interviews?”. But why try? That’s like trying to fit into a box, and there’s no box known to man that could contain her brilliance or her energy.  So here she is in all her unboxed glory.


Libidacoria Magazine is proud to present this month’s feature interview, BJ Stahl.


BJ


My name is BJ Stahl….I’m an entertainer…..you know…I do whatever it takes…to entertain!  I sing, play guitar, emcee, burlesque as well as I’m a wedding officiant, journeyman commercial painter, artist and seamstress.  My hats are many and varied!  I like to think I wear them well.  When I am on stage…..I am my true self…unencumbered, raw yet guarded…..she’s my baby girl!  She’s vulnerable and controlling.  If I could be her all the time……I would be too imposing…..she lives out loud…..AND LOVES IT!  She’s a little narcissistic but will hear your woes and comfort you…….but when the lights come on….the music begins…..Honey,,,get out of my way….that’s my cue!  I giggle at her because I know her insecurity…..but honey, she is commanding that stage!  I back off and let her do her thing…..she is me, and I’m so proud of her!  I don’t really know how to juggle between my racy side and home side…..without the stage.  I have no desire to have sex outside my home, but I sure want to exude its possibility to the audience.  I want to feel the burn of their gaze…….I want to feel their eyes penetrate me…..I’m rarely disappointed…even at my age!  I like to think I listen to my inner self and follow it.  I have to admit, it took me more years than I’d like to listen.  My future is bright….bright as all the ideas within myself.  I am a visualizer…..I like to see the possibilty in my mind and let the Universe bring it to me, if that will make me happy.  It may sound random….but I have learned to follow what my gut tells me…..you can call it what you will….I call it My Universe.  My life in a word….MOTION!  Always moving toward…..never backwards.  I don’t like to dwell in the past.  That has been both cathartic and empty.   Melancholy and sad.  But, without a lot of happy memories, this proves to be perfect for me.  I have something that sends me into outer space….it’s my pet peeve!  So, I’ve agreed to come to your party,….your event….to entertain.  You tell me….hey, bring your guitar and your sound equipment and share your beautiful voice with us……we love to hear you sing!!!  I turn down a function where I know it would be awesome and go to your event.  I take my time, equipment and dress to entertain…..you know, don’t want to look like I just walked in from the plowing…..and I begin a 3-4 hour show for you and your guests.  I start the show…..the talking can be heard on stage……I think, wow, must not have my sound up enough…let’s turn that baby up a notch!  It is louder…..and so is the crowd……this continues until the guests have out done me……I am just something in the background.  I’m giving my all….digging deep for emotion to share……fingers hurting….throat sore….ego bruised…..and it drains you.  Why not just turn on the radio……plug in your iPod……hook up your Bose stereo speaker.  I am not……BACKGROUND……I came to make you laugh, make you cry and make you escape into folly……..and you want me to be …….BACKGROUND!!!  What does that exchange mean…….?  Whatever it is….it hurts!   I’ll tell you what doesn’t hurt…..when someone “hears” you……or truly “sees” you!  Nothing can get me more excited……more in need of hot penetration than…..acknowledging my existence with hot desire to please me.  From the gaze with icy fluid…..to the slightest of touch…..just enough to want me to fall into it…..to the words that say…….I haven’t lived through that…..but I’m here for you.  Not in a rush……allowing flow!  That is hot!


BJ2


Now, for a little funny.  Many years ago….I was working on the South Texas Nuclear Project….. as an industrial painter.  My part time job was a singing act.  I was maybe 30……very well built and toned, as my job was very physical.  I worked 4 12 hour shifts, then was off for 4 days.  My off days were about entertaining……out in Texas……big ole gigs out on ranches and such!  One night, I was playing a local Honky Tonk when a young good looking hot thing came into the lounge.  He sat in front of the stage and gave me >>>>>THE EYE!  Oh, I thought he was mine to take home…..mine for the picking.  It was a 4-hour show night…..we were so so tired.  The man only stared at me throughout the night…..never approached.  I thought he was being respectful…..he knew I was working.  The end of the night came…..he moseyed up to my table where my singing partner and I were splitting out till for the night.  I saw him walk closer and closer…..my heart was throbbing and my mind was racing.  Oh….he looked like he could go all night long……and I was willing to put my aches and pains of a full night show to the wayside and give him a whirl!  He strolled up to me…..tilted his head so sweetly…..leaned a little closer, then closer and said……….”Hey,…….Have you got a daughter?”  I must have paled immediately because my blood ran cold as I posed this……”Do you ever want one?”……with my fist tight and my eyes fixed on his crotch!  I never saw him again…..he sure was hot though!!!


BJ3
You can find BJ on Facebook here.


For a special treat, search her on YouTube to get a taste of her music and amazing voice.

RECIPE: Super Easy Pasta Sauce

by Pitmaster Jimi James

In this day and age, everyone seems to always be in a rush.  Whether it’s work, sports, household chores, or just plain life, it seems the last thing we want to do is figure out the age-old question, “What’s for dinner?”.

It’s too easy these days to just to go to a fast food place and get something. Quick but always unfulfilling.

I sometimes do that myself too, but for me anyway, I HAVE to cook. It’s therapy for me. Plus when you make the meal, you’re the one putting smiles on everybody’s faces, and you’re the reason everyone is enjoying that meal.

And of course, I truly believe it brings a family closer together. After the meal is made, everyone sits down and has a conversation about the day. It’s just more relaxing to make the dinner and enjoy your family than rush through another vat of deep-fried stuff with sauce that covers up the flavor.

Today, the sauce IS the flavor. I’m sharing my super easy pasta sauce. No. This isn’t one that is slaved over for hours and all from scratch, but I guarantee your family will eat up. It won’t matter if you put this over spaghetti, add macaroni noodles to it or use it to make a lasagna. It’s simple, and I just gave you three ideas to use it for a dinner.

So let’s get to it.  Shall we?

Ingredients

Here is what you’ll need:

  • 2 lbs. ground beef or chuck
  • 2 tsp. black pepper
  • 4 tsp. salt
  • 1 – 45 oz. jar traditional pasta sauce
  • 2 – 14.5 oz. cans of Italian stewed tomatoes
  • 2  – 4 oz. cans of mushrooms
  • 1 large sweet onion, diced fine
  • 2 Tbsp. Sweet Basil
  • 2 Tbsp. Oregano
  • ¾ cup Parmesan-Romano cheese
  • 1 – 10 oz. can tomato soup
  • 1 cup water
  • ½ Tbsp. sugar (to take the edge of tartness) ** optional

1.  Let’s start by browning the ground beef.

Meat

 

Don’t forget to season the beef. The rule of thumb for ground beef is 1 tsp. black pepper and 2 tsp. salt for every pound of ground beef. We are going to cook the ground beef on medium-high heat. After the beef is browned, go ahead and drain the grease from the beef in a colander.

2.  Now, add the beef to a 5- to 8-quart sauce pot.

3.  Next, add your diced onion to the beef and cook for about 2 minutes on medium heat– just so the onions start getting soft.

4.  Add the pasta sauce.

5.  Open and drain the mushrooms and add them to the sauce.

6.  Open the stewed tomatoes and just drain half the sauce from each can.  Crush the tomatoes by hand and add to the sauce.

7.  Now, add the rest of ingredients to the pot and simmer for 30 minutes on medium low.

 

Like I said, once done, you can put this sauce over spaghetti or use it to make lasagna. It’s super easy and won’t take forever to make a meal.

Sauce

Stay hungry, my friends. Until next time…

He’s 75 Today, But His Contributions are Timeless

by Kristie LeVangie

Seventy-five years ago, a woman gave birth to one of the most influential icons of American fashion.

Born in New York in 1939 as Ralph Lifshitz, Ralph was the son of a house painter and came from humble beginnings. His first foray into fashion began in high school where he sold neckties to his fellow classmates.

At age 16, he would change his name to the iconic Ralph Lauren.  He didn’t like his given name because it had the word “shit” in it as he would tell Oprah in a later interview.  He was often made fun of for this.

After high school, Ralph went on to Baruch College where he began to study business.  Two years later, he would drop out and serve in the U.S. Army.  He left the Army to work a brief stint at Brooks Brothers before landing a job in a tie company as a salesman.

At age 26, he was inspired to begin designing his own ties and pitched an idea for a wide European-style necktie to his company.  It was rejected, so he left to break out on his own.

Working out of The Empire State Building, Lauren took rags and turned them into his own designed neckties.  He would then sell them to small New York shops until his fate turned when Neiman Marcus placed an order for 100 dozen!

Just one year later, he would open his own necktie store where he would sell ties under the label of “Polo” with the backing of the famous clothing manufacturer, Norman Hilton.

Four years later, Ralph expanded his line and opened a boutique on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.

In 1970, Ralph Lauren would go on to win the COTY Award for his menswear line and enter the realm of women’s fashion introducing a line of tailored suits.  This was also the debut of the iconic Polo logo.

His famous Polo shirt would be unveiled in 1972 and was available in 24 colors.  Today, this is still a classic staple of the Lauren line.

Fast forward to 1997, the Ralph Lauren Corporation became a public company.

Ralph_Lauren_2013Today, one man’s dream to sell neckties has turned into a billion dollar business, and Forbes places Lauren as the 19th richest person in the world with over 35 U.S. boutiques and many other retailers carrying the Ralph Lauren label.

Ralph Lauren exemplifies an individual who strived to reach his goals despite the obstacles and haters placed in front of him.  He knew what he wanted, and he set out to get it through hard work and raw talent.

Ralph Lauren, we salute you as an inspiration and raise a glass to 75 years of awesome!

clothing-brands-for-mentop-10-costliest-clothing-brands-for-men-flavors-of-thought-qeww5fld

0918ralphlauren

Chicken and Biscuits Casserole

Pitmaster Jimi James

 

 

by Pitmaster Jimi James

 

Well this week, I’m feeling a little under the weather with a sinus cold, so I decided that instead of chicken noodle soup from a can, I would be more creative and make something that would stick to my ribs.

Ribs– now that’s a previous article, you can check that one out here.

Back to this dinner though.

This is a meal that is quick and easy, packed with flavor, and everyone will love it!!!

The best part is you can put it together in a matter of minutes. This is the perfect dish for fall, the cold weather that is ahead, busy evenings, or you could bring it to a friend/family member just for the hell of it.

Here is what you’ll need:

First, let’s grab an 11×7 baking dish and a cookie sheet.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees and grab these:.

  • 1 (10.5 oz) can of broccoli cheese soup
  • 1 (10.5 oz) can of cream of potato soup
  • 2/3 cup of whole milk
  • ½ tsp. seasoning salt
  • 1 tsp. garlic powder
  • ½ tsp. Italian seasoning
  • ½ tsp. black pepper
  • 2 cups frozen mixed vegetables
  • 2 cups chicken, grilled and diced
  • 1 package biscuits (I used Pillsbury Grands)

Okay, let’s put this together, and you’ll be bashin’ before ya know it!!!!

1.)  Grill enough chicken for 2 cups. I used two breasts. Make sure you cook the chicken until done. Check with a thermometer. The internal temp should be 150 degrees.

2.) Once the chicken has cooled down a little (about 15 minutes), dice into bite-size pieces and set aside. Now, let’s move on to our next step.

3.) In a medium to large bowl, combine the broccoli cheese soup and cream of potato soup.

Soups

4.) Next we’re going to add the whole milk.  Then fold it together. Don’t over-mix, or you’ll break up the potatoes too much.

Milk

5.) Add in all the spices. I measure all my spices out on a paper plate and then add them to the mix I have started all at once.

6.) Add the mixed vegetables and carefully fold them in.

Vegetables

7.) Next, add in your diced chicken.  The mixture will look thick and creamy.

8.) Now get your 11×7 baking pan.  Pour the mixture in the pan, and level it out.

9.) Bake the mix for about 20 minutes, or until it’s bubbling.

10.) Now get those biscuits out, and put them on a cookie sheet. Follow the directions on the can of biscuits.

Biscuits

OOOOHHHHHH…it’s almost done at this point. Who’s hungry???

Let’s plate our meal.

I put my biscuit or biscuits on a plate and spoon the chicken casserole mixture over top.

Plate

That’s it!!!!! Now you can make something quick, easy, and delicious, and it won’t take you all day in the kitchen.

 

Stay hungry, my friends!!!  Until next time…

Dirty, Sexy, Monogamy: Scott and Laura’s Infinite Playlist

 by Laura Wize

Dating in your twenties teaches you to adjust your expectations…or at least it did with my experience. It taught me all the things that I didn’t want to continue in my thirties. I also had really awesome, scandalous, dirty, hot sex.

It’s true, and I can’t deny it.

I described myself much like Julia Roberts described herself in Pretty Woman— “A bum magnet. If there was bum within a file mile radius, he was mine”.

Strangely enough, some of the best sex I ever had was with those bums.

My twenties are coming to a close, and I finally found a great guy, Scott, who is not a bum. We’re in love and planning our future together. So what is wrong with me having a great guy? Nothing is wrong; I just had the expectation that we would be having this life-altering sex.

Don’t misunderstand.  We have good sex. I just want more.

If I plan on potentially marrying him, then it was on me to admit I needed more.

I got frustrated at the thought of even bringing up the topic.

I even began to wonder why is good sex attached to bad people. I always thought that when the stars magically aligned themselves, everything would be perfect.

Well, we had “the conversation,” and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. The conversation went something like this:

Me: I want to write about sex, but I feel like it will make you uncomfortable.

Scott: Why would it make me uncomfortable? You write about sex all the time.

Me: ‘Cause it’s about our sex life.

Scott: What you are you going to say?

Me: It will be about how to have a better sex life with your partner, and I’m my own test dummy. It’s not that it’s bad; it could just be better.

Scott: What will we do to make it better?

Me: Well I have some exercises in mind, books to read, and maybe go to an adult store.

The possibility of a trip to the Hustler store put him on the road to happiness, and I got his full consent as a test dummy. The thing you need to understand about Scott and I…we are total opposites.

I am upbeat, and he is a realist. My favorite movie is Moonstruck, and his is Last of the Mohicans.

I also think we have two different expectations of what should happen in the bedroom.

music_is_my_boyfriend_by_klamczuchaOur first small step towards understanding and big step towards multiple orgasms is Scott and Laura’s infinite playlist. We both love music, and I personally believe that what you listen to says everything about who you are and what you want. I think once we hear what the other person wants, it will make it easier to know what works for them. I asked him to come up with a playlist of five songs to describe what his ideal sexual experience is, and I would do the same.

Scott asked, “What if they are all raunchy songs?”

I just laughed and thought, “That will explain a lot.”

The playlist theory is to further explore each other’s unconscious needs. The things we want to describe but can’t because it is too hard.

Sexual expectations are similar to having an island mentality: you aren’t aware of what is happening in other places because, hell, you live in paradise.

I wanted to get a mutual understanding of our latitude and longitude as a couple.

Scott’s List:

  • Kelly- Sex Me
  • Teddy Pendergrass- Close the Door
  • Johnny Gill – Love in an Elevator
  • Eric Benet- Chocolate Legs
  • Silk- Freak Me

Laura’s List:

  • Maxwell- Sumthin Sumthin – Mello Smooth Mix
  • Raheem Devaugn- Garden of Love
  • Prince- Scandalous
  • Nine Inch Nails- Closer
  • Joe- Love Scene

After listening to Scott’s playlist, I came to the conclusion that he is eager to please his partner. He thinks of sex as a private intimate act that he wants to share with someone special.

Overall, the exercise was like reading the opposing team’s playbook– only in this case cheating is totally acceptable.

I think he liked it too.

And I think you have to be willing to make the sex in your relationship what you want.

As for Scott and I, only time can tell if our infinite playlist will get us from good to explosive. I feel like admitting we had a problem was the first step, and we’re better already.

More Than Sensual Massage

Johnny Jackhammer

 

 

by Johnny Jackhammer

 

Massage creates connection.

I don’t see massage as therapeutic and non-sexual, but I haven’t chosen to get a massage from a licensed therapist. I prefer to sooth my sore muscles with a hot whirlpool over a deep tissue grind.

I do, however, see massage as a sensual connection between people; an exchange of warmth and electricity through the touch of skin and firm caressing. And the best massage is focused on the experience and not any notion of a “happy ending” (more on that later.).

This leads me to sensation play, which is a fun twist to add to massage. My GoodWitchNorth and I have brought more variety to our practice over time, using different materials and tools to create unique sensations. I find things in surprising places – craft fairs, carnivals, sex shops, etsy . . . and “Google is your friend.”

Common Sense Moment

I recommend you try all of these on your own skin before you ever put any of them to the body of another person (your thigh can be a great playspace). You need to know how much pressure creates fun sensations and how much takes you too far.

Also, these items are not intended for blood play, but there is a danger of piercing thin skin. Be prepared for accidental blood. With the right touch, you won’t break skin but can give the sensation of being ripped. With the wrong touch, or if you inadvertently curl your hand, you might be able to draw blood in a thin scratch. Safety is paramount, so be sure to have aftercare items on hand like paper towels, cleansing wipes like you’ll find in a first aid kit, and antibiotic cream such as NeoSporin.

Vampire Gloves

DSC_0393

Slip these on and your partner will coo with a mix of caution and eagerness.

This is a leather glove that has thin needlepoints imbedded in the palms. With the right light touch, it creates a scratch sensation that tickles the nerves. Be sure to adjust the pressure of your touch to alternate between a teasing tickle and a good, hard scratch.

Start slow with a light touch, methodically getting firmer to match the reaction of your partner. Follow his or her feedback as you massage and apply.

They are designed for sensation, not blood. They are tough to clean, so if you plan to use them on multiple partners, please get multiple gloves.

Fingertip extensions

DSC_0397

I have seen several types of nail extenders, but I like this simple metal model. It isn’t particularly Goth, and it is clear that you intend to build a scratch.

With the right touch, these won’t pierce the skin as easily as the gloves. But a strong hand certainly can. One cool effect is the long red welts that you can bring up with a steady pull. Hot, sexy, and gives the right stimulus.

This is good once your massage partner is nicely warmed up and you need to give the sensations an extra kick. Drag your hand down their body in a steady pull, and you’ll scratch a nice sting wherever you go.

Use with caution, though. If you go too light, you’ll stimulate the nerves so much that any touch will result in a ticklish recoil. If that’s what you’re going for, you’ll have fun. If it’s not, then you’ll want to return to some firm hand massage to bring their sensation level back down again. You can have some fun with this ebb and flow.

The Talon

DSC_0391

I came across a talon hand brace while cruising the leathergoods at a Renaissance Faire. It caught my eye instantly and went on my hand for the rest of the day. I dreamed of ways I would rub down my lady, adding the scratch of the hard plastic nails at intervals and key moments.

When it came to massaging her, however, the talons were difficult and ineffective. It was close to a failure. Because they were connected to my hand but not my fingers, they couldn’t be easily controlled or directed. And because my fingers were curled underneath them, it was difficult to find the right pressure for a long, even scratch pattern. I thought I could learn to master it, but I wasn’t sure that the end result would be close to what I imagined.

Then I realized, while toying around on my lady’s back, what real life talons are used for. Their primary purpose is not for scratching. Their primary purpose is for holding something (or someone) in place. Oh, baby, now I was onto something!

Pressing my folded hand down, she could feel the tips of the talons pin her down. Any attempt to rise would result in a sharper piercing.   And putting myself at just the right angle gave me a delicious combination of control and opportunity.

Use the talon on your lover. Pin them down, whisper in their ear about how you are going to take them, and then take them. Then, use your cock (or strap-on), free hand, mouth, etc. to carry out your whispered promise.

Yeah, the talon is a fast favorite.

Happy Endings

My focus is on sexual expression, not massage therapy. In my viewpoint, you are doing it right if you and your partner become aroused. What to do with this is up to you, but the session is always better if orgasm is not the goal.

If cumming becomes desired, however, try to match the activity with the play that led up to it. If you back off of sensation play into traditional sensual massage, then honor that energy with a nice finger or hand job.

Maintain the mood.  Keep the pace. If you are massaging slowly, then work your hands on their sweet spot even slower. Let them build to a peak so softly that they cum in intense waves. If you are wrapped in intense rapture, say by pinning him or her down with your talon hands, then drive into them like there’s no escape. No matter what, match the mood and have a blast.

Pun intended.