reality

See Jane Trust. Trust No Dick.

See Jane.

See Jane trust.

See Dick accuse Jane of cheating.

Trust no Dick.

The true character of a man is tested when his mind starts to construct fantasies about his reality.

Harry once told Sally that men could never be friends with women.

It’s a sad world when a girl can’t just talk to a boy. I was recently united with a guy a went to school with. We were friends throughout Junior High and High School and dated one another for a brief stint my Junior year. I wouldn’t call it anything serious. We both went on to have families and careers and earn our hardship badges.

We reconnected a few months ago via facebook and emailed back and forth sporadically, but last week he sent me his number since Facebook Messenger isn’t the easiest thing to use. We started texting, reminiscing and just being goofy. I was enjoying getting to know him all over again and hearing about his adventures since our departure.

But just like Harry said, that was when it all started to go downhill.

The guy I’m seeing (actually LIVING with) jumped off the emotional cliff.

  1. A text message conveying my friend’s frustration with single life turned into an elicit relationship.
  2. A series of sporadic phone calls was deceitful to him and progressed too quickly to be “innocent”.
  3. And even though I cleared it with him before saying ‘yes’, when I offered to help my friend by giving him a ride, my friend was automatically assumed a stalker that would rape me the first chance he got.
  4. A mystery truck was parked outside our house yesterday, so logically, he called the company to scope out the employees and see if he could match it up to my facebook friend’s list.
  5. These are only the actions that I know about.

I get that a certain amount of jealousy is normal, but one has to ask one’s self, “At what point does “normal” end and “crazy” begin?”.

From my perspective, it all boils down to trust. He’ll argue that he trusts me but not my friend. I’ll argue that he doesn’t trust ME.

If we play a bit of devil’s advocate here, even if my friend has ill intentions, it’s obvious the boyfriend doesn’t trust my ability to either fend off my friend’s advances or to be able to identify the malicious intent.

Today I’m plagued with the question regarding the line between “normal” and “crazy,” so I went out in search of answers.

According to Gurl.com, there are 10 signs that tell you if your boyfriend is too possessive, and we seem to have at least 6 going on here.

  1. He doesn’t like you talking to any other guys AT ALL.
  2. He always accuses you of flirting with other people.
  3. He gets mad when you don’t text back fast enough.
  4. He monitors what you do on social media.
  5. He grills you about everything you do.
  6. He gets irate if you can’t find you right away.
  7. He’s really suspicious of your friends.
  8. He gets mad at you about things you wear.
  9. He never believe you even though you’ve never given him a reason not to.
  10. You catch him going through your phone.

My friend suggested, as I relayed the reason I could no longer be his friend, that perhaps the jealousy was stemming from the boyfriend’s own infidelity and thus projecting onto me. While I adamantly denied that he would do that, his escapades last night have me experiencing Pyrate flashbacks.

For those of you who don’t follow my blogs, Pyrate was someone I dated a few years ago who I discovered was hacking into my phone after I fell asleep at night and modifying emails to make it appear as if I was cheating so he could try to control my behavior and drive me mad by paranoia. All his effort only resulted in a messy break-up and an apparent PTSD dating aftertaste.

So here I am. Not sure what to do. I’ve lost a friend to keep the insanity in check, but do I now live a life where I can’t make new friends, text message people, or have conversations with strangers? Is he always going to be questioning my every move and second guessing everyone’s intentions? Is this more a reflection of his lack of self-confidence?

Have you ever dealt with a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend? How did you work it out?

Pondering Cupid

by Kristie LeVangie

I’m plagued today with the idea of Cupid.  I recently went for a walk through the local art museum.  I became entranced with the artful depictions of this little weapon-yielding, winged, naked baby put in charge of such a monumental thing as Love.

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Each Renaissance-period oil-soaked canvas shows an angelic toddler with tiny white wings and a barren chubby body.  He parades his nakedness in insinuating innocence.  His right hand cradles a small bow while arrows of attraction and repulsion are gathered precariously in the small quiver affixed to his back.

I guess I am most intrigued by the contrary nature of little Cupid’s depiction.  How can this Romantic depiction be so contrary to the actual effects of this catastrophic calamity called Love?

There is something unsettling about the notion that a baby is in charge of the “slings and arrows” of love, but it is true that he often has bad aim.  We would expect that from a weak-muscled cherub.  But I would argue against his innocence as his archery often shows a malicious disregard for its target.  Such carelessness has at times altered history and caused the downfalls of empires.

The innocence of the dear child runs counter to the human manipulation and torrid storms of relationships.  Where is the evil Loki who runs around mischievously fired enamored arrows into complete strangers, mismatched personalities and forbidden targets?

Cupid is never depicted with a sly grin, a slanted eyebrow or a devilish thought.

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Cupid is no better than a serial killer who decides upon his target, stalks his prey, and often attacks them in their most vulnerable state.  Such was one painting where the little boy was climbing upon a concrete bench in which a maiden slept peacefully.  And according to the artist’s perception in this painting, we have little resistance to his mayhem.  How would we defend ourselves with our eyes closed as they so often are when it comes to Love?

This painting isn’t the same one I’m referring to (as it depicts Cupid as a man), but it’s close.

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Cupid himself was unable to stay with his love, Psyche.  According to legend, Psyche was a mortal.  Cupid fell in love with her but she was forbidden to look at him.  One night dying from curiosity, she lit a candle and gazed at her lover in the dark candlelit room.  As she stood admiring his form, she accidentally spilled a bit of candle wax on him.  He awoke in anger that she had disobeyed and fled leaving her alone.   There’s more to the story, but it’s funny that even the epitome of Love (he was Aphrodite’s son, for truth’s sake) found walking away a better answer to staying and working things out.

And what becomes of the maiden in our painting?  Little does she know that upon awakening, she will be straddled with a short courtship, ensuing financial disagreements, maintaining a household complete with multitudes of children, and keeping a watchful eye on a potentially straying husband.  Little does she know that her life, and her innocence for that matter, will now be shattered, and her heart will grow a little more saddened with each passing day at the futility of it all.  And little does she know that upon awakening, she will be fevered with someone who may or may not return her affection, will underestimate her value, and will always be keeping a roaming eye for something better to come along.

Little does she know…and little do we until we’ve tangled with the fat little man they call Cupid.

…Of course, this is just my jaded opinion.  😉